no. you can't hotbox the world.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
