Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
