This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we made out on top of his cat.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize