I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
