at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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