I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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