I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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