Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i out mim tonsoeep
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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