Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
