Will you blow on my dice?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
