Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
