I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
