You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
