The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
do herpes really smell.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
