everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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