dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize