Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My liver is preforming stress tests.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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