dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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