Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
