I wanna passion pit in your ass
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
