Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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