): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
