i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
