You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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