And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You left your underwear on the fireplace
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
