No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have already put on my inside pants.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
