She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Even my vagina gasped.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize