you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
