I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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