I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
