my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize