'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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