We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
