just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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