you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
