if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
