I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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