grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
