The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
