Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
