My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
