I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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