I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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