clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
