Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
