I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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