gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Randomize
