we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
