i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
