Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
