what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
