The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize