just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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