I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
