Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
