oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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