there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
