it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
