ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
