So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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