I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize