whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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