We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
