Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
