Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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