his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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