Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
