God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
