im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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