I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
