Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize