Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
