no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
