Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize